January 12, 2012

Family Fridays: Feeling the Love

I cannot believe I have not one but TWO children. Who does that? Who in their right mind not only lets but enables her body to stretch out beyond what she thought was possible, endure countless backaches and hip pain and then chooses to push that child out from her said body without any pain killers or freaky suction tools? TWICE?!? Sometimes I look around our home, while my two children are busy tearing it apart in their creative little ways and I think, now that is some crazy shit. I cannot believe I did that. And here they are, in all their glory, running or scooting around this home and I honestly do not know what I did with myself beforehand. How did I exist without their shrieks and tugging and crying and laughter and hugging?

It was not love at first sight, so the speak, with my children. I was in such a place of exhaustion, excitement and disbelief after each of their births. I honestly could not believe that I had just birthed a baby – I didn’t know what to do with myself after all that hard work. I would just lay there on my bed, as the midwife did her thang, checking the baby out and checking me out. I was in shock really. You just lay there while this beautiful red and slippery creature sucks on your boobs – as if they have been doing it for years. They are such experts at such a young age, it’s pretty nuts actually. And you think, man, here she/he is. But it was never the oohs and the aahhs…it was more just pure astonishment, shock and awe. I mean, I loved my babies, but I didn’t feel that tug on the heartstrings until months later. And then that tug gets significantly stronger as they age.

I am at the point with my son (eight months old now) where I just get so happy to greet him when he wakes up from his naps. He squeals with excitement and looks around frantically - making sure that everything is still in its place. He hugs my neck and walks up my chest, so eager to get moving again after that lovely snooze. As I was sitting on the chair nursing him the other day, I realized that I am so head over heels in love with this kid that it hurts. It’s as if the love grows along with the length of their body – his feet are dangling way off my lap now when we nurse so you can only imagine how much love that means. And my daughter? She is HUGE (well not that huge, she’s only 2 ½ but she is like a real little person instead of a baby now) and I just cannot contain my happiness when she is around (well…unless she is crazy upset because I am making her go to bed or the likes). She is just too fun to hang with. She is funny and witty and wicked clever. You cannot get anything past this girl. And she has that crazy organizing gene I inherited from my parents – she lines EVERYTHING up, spoons, dolls, legos etc…they are organized just so and if I dare move them, watch out, you will pay. But I digress.

There is just so much love with these two kids.

P.S. Isn't this photo so lovely? This is how you can find me a good portion of the day - Sebastien nursing and Maya snuggling. Although Maya would have her hand down my shirt on the other boob. Don't ask. It's a comfort thing. I don't mind it so much but it's going to rock her world when I take that little bit away...someday, someday. 

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