August 9, 2011

Feeding the Love

Somedays I feel as though all I do is this (see above) ALL. DAY. LONG.  Just over four months old and little Sebastien is wrecking havoc on my ability to get anything done during the day and recently on my ability to get some solid sleep.  He must be growing.

I love breastfeeding as much as the next mom does but kiddo number two sure doesn't get the lovey-dovey gazes while he nurses like the first one did.  I physically feel him sucking the life out of me somedays and I catch myself looking forward to the day when he is detached from me forever.  Is that horrible or what?  I feel bad just typing that out.  But in all honesty, the second time around is just so different.  The guilt factor is elevated, the exhaustion is at its peak and the level of patience is quickly disappearing.  The toddler takes my full attention while the innocent baby gets the leftovers.   No fair!

I nursed my daughter for a year and a half and I hope I can last at least a year with my son.  But the idea of freedom is just so enticing - I haven't had my body to myself in nearly 3 years!  It's enough to drive you nuts.    But pictures likes this on remind me of how utterly sweet and special it is to be able to hold you baby in your arms and literally give them life.   There are not too many moments that are that rewarding.

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